Mutual Feelings
by orangepencils
Summary: It was all an arrangement, but deep down I knew that there was a feeling we both shared, one that was mutual. And out of that feeling we created what we had.


**Mutual Feelings**

**Ok after re-reading chapter 466 of the manga I got inspired and decided to write this before I thought of it day and night. Still working in chapter three of tomatoes… give me a break here it's a long chapter. So anyways enjoy. It's in Sesshomaru's mother's point of view.**

**154**

**Summary: It was all an arrangement, but deep down I knew that there was a feeling we both shared, one that was mutual. And out of that feeling we created what we had. One Shot.**

**Disclaimer: I have no idea where this story is going and I should really be doing by English homework…**

Mutual Feelings

Akemi's POV

I remember the day I was told that I had to become the Great Tai-Youkai's mate. It was a cold winter day. There was little snow on the ground and there was a big uproar in the Eastern Lands. The InuTaisho was the lord of the Western lands and he was of age to find himself a mate. So was I for that matter. I had never met him in person but I had heard of his greatness. Father had told me that by mating with him, we would secure an alliance with the Western lands and it would settle many little petty arguments between the clan and other petty demons. It would also secure the next generation and heir to the Western and Eastern Lands. With my mating to him, the West and the East would become the biggest of the four Kingdoms.

On this same day, I was told that I was to meet with the great Lord. I was nervous to be honest. This was a lifetime commitment and unlike those pesky humans, we inu-youkai lived for a long time. I knew that this alliance would be made out of power and not out of love, whatever that was, but I still wondered. One of my servants came into my room and she dressed me with my finest robe. She made sure my hair was nice and that I looked presentable. Once that was done, she went to get my father so he could see me. Once I had his approval I could leave the room and go to the main room to wait for this great Lord.

I still remember when he walked into the room. There were many similarities between him and I. His cheek streaks were darker and bolder. It was a very common thing for the westerners. Instead in the East, they were thinner and paler. There were other markings as well that were different but that was of no importance. Our eyes met for a moment and I knew that this man wouldn't harm a fly if he didn't want too. At least I knew he would be gentle with me. But I also saw more in his eyes. Regret, but regret for what?

He walked up to me and bowed deeply. I did the same and then he took my hand and kissed it lightly. I can still feel his lips on my hand. It is something that one does not forget easily. Our fathers told us that we were to mate by the next new moon and that there would be a small banquet in our name the next night. They left us together so we could discuss together. I still remember our first discussion together. He was a very intriguing man. He wasn't like most Lord's I had met in my life. He seemed ruff but in reality he was calm and gentle. We talked about many things and for once in my life I felt as though I was at peace with the world. We weren't desperately in love with one another but we had a deep respect for each other.

The banquet went very well and the night after the banquet we were presented with our new domain where we would live and rule the Western Lands. It was a vast domain that once belonged to the great Demon Lord Daichi. He was InuTaisho's great-great-great-great-ancestor. The domain had been lived by the other great Lords but none had been as great as InuTaisho was supposed to be. That night was the first night that we spent together. We did not become mates but we were to share the bed together. The people who had arranged our alliance had said that it was good for our relationship.

The new moon came quite soon and we were mated on that night. The experience was like none that I had ever felt. I had heard of my maids speak of it but I had never thought that it was what it was. They made it sound much more appeasing than what I felt. But perhaps they did it for other reasons than we had. The others told us that we had to mate until a child was conceived. The thought scared me more than anything. I did not mind doing it with him every night; I just didn't think that we were ready to have a child. It was only two weeks that we had known of the other's existence and already we had to prosper the next heir of the Western Lands.

I was scared but I did not show it through my neutral expression. Some could even say that I was stoic at times. It was the way I was raised and there was nothing that would make me change. Even though I made sure not to show my mate how scared I was, but InuTaisho saw right through me. He was like that, he was one who could read anyone like a book and understand what you were thinking without needing words. I knew that he would make an excellent father; I just did not know what I would make of a mother. It took a full moon cycle for us to conceive a child. It was a very happy event and it was celebrated throughout the entire time of my pregnancy. There were many prayers made to hope that this heir would be a son. The clan had nothing against a daughter but it would be better if it were a male.

It wasn't long before my stomach started to grow and my mate made sure I was alright. He wouldn't be by my side much longer anyways. Once the heir was born, he would have to start going throughout our lands to make sure that everything was alright. Then after every seven moons he would return home for a short period of time and it would start over again and again. He would fight the great demons that were a threat to our lands while I would stay home with the child. If it was a son then when the time came I would have to send out my child with its father so it would be able to learn the fighting techniques and become as strong as InuTaisho. If it was a daughter then she would remain at home with me and I would have to teach her everything I knew.

I still remember the night the child was born. It was a rainy day and I had been in pain all morning long. The midwife had come to our domain and she was constantly giving out orders to maids and other such people. InuTaisho wasn't allowed in the birthing room so he was to wait outside. It was the one and only time I allowed myself to show weakness but even then I didn't show that much. The child was born just as the thunder rang loudly outside and I knew by the sound of its wails that he would become a very powerful Lord once his time came. He would be able to do many great things when he was of age.

The boy was named Sesshomaru a few days after his birth. He was the pride and joy of the clan and he was very healthy. He resembled both of us and he was a product of our understandings. The one mutual feeling we had. My mate and I did not often talk but we weren't at war with each other. We just understood each other. There was nothing more to say on that subject. The moment Sesshomaru was twelve moons old, InuTaisho left for his duties towards his lands. I was left alone with Sesshomaru. The boy was a very fine little pup and he had a mind of his own. He did things the way he wanted to do them and he was very quiet.

In many ways he reminded me of myself and it scared me. On one particular night he wouldn't stop crying and I got so tired of his plaintive wails that I simply brought my hand down on his little face. I was so shocked by my actions that I refused to pay much attention to him afterwards. The slap and my treatment to Sesshomaru left a permanent mark on him and he wasn't the same ever since. Each day he grew more and more like his mother and less and less like his father. His father was a proud being who was gentle and carrying while I was proud and didn't have many feelings. Feeling things was for the weak and I was not weak. I made sure that Sesshomaru understood that.

When my mate returned, he knew that I had done something to our child. He did not speak of it but it was in his deep golden eyes. It unnerved me how he could be so quiet like that but I didn't say a word just like him. Ever since the incident we did not try to produce another heir to the Western Lands. I grew to hate my mate for the way he was and for what I had become. I hated him for doing what he was doing to him. With my hate I turned his own flesh and blood against him. Sesshomaru did not detest his father but he did not like his father either. He simply respected him to a certain level.

As the days went by, I became power hungry and it influenced Sesshomaru more and more. By the time Sesshomaru was one-hundred-and-twenty summers old he despised anything that was lower than him while my mate simply felt nothing for them. It was starting to get to me the way he acted. I wanted for once in my life to feel superior to him. To see that smug expression wipe off of his face. To see him the way I felt. And so, while he was out protecting the lands, I did the unthinkable and found myself a one night lover. No one knew about it but I suspected that Sesshomaru knew that something had happened. I made sure to kill the demon off once my affair was done and over with.

When InuTaisho returned two moons later, I could once again read in his eyes that he knew what had happened. He didn't say a thing about it and acted as though everything was fine with the world. But it wasn't! That night for the first time in many moons I spoke to him for something that was on my heart and not on my mind.

"Why?! Why do you act this way all the time?! After all that I've done to you, why do you still treat me this way?" I asked him. My voice was unusual and there was a lot of emotions in it that I had never even known existed within me.

"Akemi, just because you try to break me it doesn't mean that we're both in this together and that as your mate I will stay by your side no matter what you do." His words instead of comforting me made me even more upset.

"Then leave me. Take Sesshomaru if you please but leave me alone. I can't live with your presence near me all the time." He looked at me straight in the eyes and once again there was that mutual understanding that was the only thing that linked us together. He nodded, kissed me on the forehead and he left me just as I had wished. I raised Sesshomaru by myself and even though he had a tough exterior, I still knew that deep down, his father had left his mark on him just like he did on me.

**THE END**

**That was particular. Well that's the end and I have nothing to say. Tell me what you think… It was kind of hard to write and find the right words for this… Anyways, read and review please!**

**Thanks **

**Op **


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